


Hungry

by Azilver



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, BAMF Umino Iruka, Cannibalism, Disturbing Themes, Horror, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Pining, is it really cannibalism when they're different species?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azilver/pseuds/Azilver
Summary: Iruka’s a monster and he’s so very hungry.





	Hungry

**Author's Note:**

> This really is just another plotbunny that appeals to my love of there being more to Iruka than what everyone sees. They’re freaking ninjas!
> 
> I don’t know where it came from either. I was just driving when suddenly the bunny danced through my brain and took up residence. Normally, my bunnies just sit about, occasionally poking at me for attention… but this one sunk its’ teeth in like a tic!
> 
> Ok, I'm also just warning again: people are eaten in this fic! And, yes, I know the whole thing is messed up *shrugs* you tell the bunnies what to write.

 

  


His mission had gone somewhat better than expected. A few scrapes and bruises but nothing serious. Normally, Kakashi would be grateful for his lack of injury and enjoy being ahead of schedule, taking his time returning to Konoha. Or at least he’d done so up til just over a year ago. Now he just wanted to get home, take a good shower and see if Iruka was around.

They had always been comrades and spoken briefly when meeting with common friends or in the mission room. It had taken Naruto to get them to spend more than five minutes together and in a brief time they’d become good friends. Now, after missions, one could often find the two shinobi out together, occasionally with the young student. For the older man it was warming and comforting, the presence of someone who just enjoyed being around him. While he had other friends, their conversations inevitably turned to their jobs, their comrades injured or lost in action. With Iruka he found himself laughing and exchanging stories of wild missions gone crazy or discussing the general village chatter. It was that friendship and warmth that got him through the depression of the Third’s death and the fracturing of his team.

And now it was Iruka who drew him home again. He’d realised months ago that he wanted more than friendship from the man but he didn’t know what to do about it. Kakashi was man enough to admit to himself that he was scared.

He wasn’t a fool, he knew that Iruka was a shinobi, a Chuunin, and with that came blood and pain. They’d both long since accepted that their lives were short and, unlike many others, Kakashi understood that, even as a schoolteacher, Iruka had killed. Nobody could take on missions higher than C’s and not expect to. He also knew that the number of confirmed kills on a shinobi’s record were only confirmations of targets. In the heat of battle you couldn’t be expected to count each life you spilled. Iruka had a kill-list.

It wasn’t that.

The Chuunin was full of light and joy, a comforting word for weary shinobi, a smile for his students and a firm shoulder for the lost. Kakashi’s soul was wet with blood and the darkness of his past. Yet, Iruka’s friendship lightened the load he’d always carried and opened his eyes to much of the basic joys he’d been missing.

He wasn’t scared of himself.

No, Kakashi was scared of rejection. Plain and simple.

He suspected that even if he told Iruka how he felt the other would laugh it off, maybe even just smile and tell him they would always be friends. That, he thought, might hurt more than outright rejection. But if he kept it all bottled up, Kakashi knew he’d either explode or collapse. For now, though, he’d keep things as they-

A breath, a flicker of purple at the edge of his vision grabbed the Jounin from his thoughts. With stealth, he tracked the movements’ direction and moments later came upon the scene. The first thing he noticed was the large man standing in the middle of the clearing. A missing nin, his hitaite attested to that fact, from Hidden Rock. He was larger than Kakashi, in height and breadth.

With the experience of years, Kakashi’s mind picked over the man in detail: skin dark but fading- he was likely from an area with little natural cover and had only been in the forest for a few weeks; shaved scalp- probably for convenience not aesthetics; well-developed musculature especially around the thigh and shoulders- physical fighter not very reliant on jutsu also attested to by lack of significant weaponry; fitted clothing of good shinobi design and quality- he kept himself in good order and had the means to do so; tattoos on the neck which looked like they extended down the torso- took pleasure in his skills and the ink was likely a record of his kills.

“No more running now, pretty.” The missing nin’s voice was the low grumble of a regular smoker, shifting Kakashi’s attention to the figure in the shadows on the edge of the clearing: Another man, smaller than the first but also well-muscled and fit. He was the one in purple; a loose, dark purple yukata ruffled in his flight and a dark grey obi sitting loosely on his hips.

Kakashi frowned, was this an attack or weird game?

“That's fine. We’re out far enough now.” The other’s voice triggered something in Kakashi’s memory. Lifting his hitaite a little he focused the sharingan on the shadows. The man was young, in his twenties, his tanned skin helping to blend into the shadows despite his colourful yukata. It was the rich colour of his hair and the scar on his face which caused Kakashi’s heart to clench.

Iruka.

What was going on? Was this a mission? If so, where were his teammates and why was he dressed like that? They were too far from Konoha for this to be just a random meeting and the other man, his body language, the brief sound of his voice, it was all wrong. Kakashi's instincts were screaming at him! Something wasn’t right.

“Really?” A disturbing spark entered the missing nin’s eyes, a leer. “If you were looking for a little more fun I would be more than happy to play.”

Iruka smiled. Something about it was disconcerting on the usually pleasing face. Within a heartbeat he stood in front of the larger man. “I was never interested in _playing_ , not with you. Not like that.”

The other man stiffened and finally seemed to notice how not right Iruka was. For all Kakashi knew Iruka was a shinobi, knew the man was a killer as much as he was, he had never felt as uneasy and on edge around the man, never felt that knowledge, as he did then.

The smile widened as Iruka ran his fingertips along the other man’s jaw, nails dragging red lines down his neck. Leaning in he whispered, “I’m hungry.”

The missing nin palmed a kunai and brought it up to strike. Iruka skipped out of his reach, laughing quietly. The other man blinked, looking at his striking hand in confusion briefly as if he didn’t understand why he’d missed. Kakashi wondered too.

If his guess was correct then the nin was Yamano Kaze, a very dangerous missing nin who had been rumoured to have taken up residence in the area. He had a nasty reputation as a paedophile, rapist and murderer. Word was that he killed for the thrill and tortured his victims for fun.

He would have been a good battle for Kakashi.

As he watched, Yamano’s strikes sliced through the air and his punches landed with resounding impact... in the earth or trees. Iruka barely moved, sidestepping blows and leaning out of reach like a snake, watching its prey, waiting. Not once did he raise a weapon or hand to defend or attack. His smile never wavered, in fact, it grew more dangerous. As unnerving as the thought was, it grew ... hungry.

It was when the brunet finally buried a senbon in the man’s neck that Kakashi noticed how the missing nin’s movements had slowed. With a grunt, Yamano pulled the senbon loose and dropped it to the forest floor. As he made to move again, however, his legs gave out on him.

Yamano shot a shocked look at his enemy, realising as Kakashi did that he’d been poisoned. He couldn’t move. He was trapped in his own body and could only look on as the pretty little man he’d been so sure would be an easy fuck, an easy kill, settled beside him in a graceful seiza.

Kakashi watched as the kind and sweet man he’d come to think of as a good friend and love, gently caressed the scalp of the downed missing nin. It was too surreal.

With delicate motions the teacher removed the paralyzed man's shirt, withdrew a kunai from his obi and cut shallow grooves along the other’s throat. As the blood welled to the surface, he leant over and ran his tongue along the bloody lines.

“You’re probably curious about what happened,” Iruka’s voice filled the clearing with an almost chatty tone, stopping every now and then to draw more lines in the man’s throat, and swallow down more blood. “though it’s actually fairly simple. I dosed you with a paralytic venom I produce. I like to collect it and then lace some of my senbon and kunai. It will wear off, eventually, but by then it won’t really matter. I nicked you with it earlier, on my nails, before you tried to hit me, that was why you slowed down. The senbon to your throat just sped things along.”

Iruka eyed the blood with unmistakable want, “I’m hungry, always so hungry.”

“Do you know how I first found out how to combat my hunger? It was on my first mission out of the village. I was eleven, a new Genin. And hungry. For months I was so hungry. A group of missing nin took us by surprise, even sensei. They must of thought I was dead too. Even then I could take a beating but I was hungry and weak. They just threw us all together and left us to rot. I lay there, I couldn’t move, under the bodies of my sensei and teammates. Even as their blood dripped on my lips, pooled in my mouth, I couldn’t do anything but swallow. And then I knew. I swallowed and swallowed, chasing their blood with my tongue. I felt strong again and I knew what would sate my hunger better than all the ramen in the world.

“Of course I couldn’t eat my sensei or teammates that just wouldn’t be right. So I waited for one of the missing nin to come back to search the bodies. I ripped his throat out and drank and feasted. He was so warm, so thick and tender. Even when he’d gone cold, I still wanted more and I knew I needed to avenge my sensei, my team. It wasn’t hard, not after feeding. I haven’t had the chance to gorge myself like that in a few years.”

With skill born of practice, Iruka teased off a slip of skin. Then, with a jaunty shrug, popped it into his mouth, chewed briefly, and swallowed.

“I need to be careful you see, people don’t really listen too well when they’ve just seen you slick back someone’s liver. I was lucky that time. Another team found me and thought the blood was from the others. I didn’t know how to heal myself and so I still had a few wounds. It was just filed away as a mission gone wrong, it happens often enough. They never found the missing nins’ remains. I got a new sensei and team, it was great! But you know what it’s like, once you’ve tried some really great dish, right? You just crave more. I was good though; I waited three months and even made it look like an accident. We’d been tracking a murderer on the edges of the village for a week. Of course, once I had his scent I followed him home and ate. They found some of his bits, parts that weren’t very tasty, two days later.

“Of course, Sandaime-sama started to notice how every two to three months a bad guy would end up in pieces, many never recovered. It was chance, really, how he figured it out, what with how I’d suddenly seem stronger, happier, after. He confronted me and I didn’t lie. It took a bit of effort but we found out some of what I am, though never exactly what. Sandaime-sama even asked me to take on my teaching position. You’d think he wouldn’t want a monster anywhere near children but he knew I’d never eat a child. I’m pretty sure it was less of a desire to keep me contained and more for there to be as strong a protection for the children as possible. And I would protect them; I’d die for those children.”

The last was muttered darkly as he dug the kunai into the shoulder joint, twisting viciously and giving a satisfied smirk as the bone and muscle gave like a cracked oyster. The missing nin’s scream was only a soft gurgle.

“We worked out that every few months I’d take a nice little mission, delivering messages, and we’d just add a day or two to the schedule. I’d get a little extra pay and a good meal out of whatever missing nins, bandits or gangs were rumoured to be bothering the area. Win win, really.

“Naturally, it wasn’t always easy. That’s how we learnt about both appetites. I have two, you know. One nin made a big fuss and got himself killed just before I was scheduled to go after him. By the fourth month, I was starting to get very weak, I even got sick! Other food didn’t help and I was getting a little snappy, so Kotetsu suggested I needed to get laid. Dragged me out drinking one night and, well, I learnt I had another talent. Seems, sex and food are my main drives and if I don’t get enough of one I can replace it with the other.

“It’s worked pretty well up to now. Less close calls and manoeuvring. But I’ve waited, over six months, for Tsunade-sama to call me. _Six months_. And I’m hungry.”

Again, Iruka sliced into flesh, deeper this time, pulling back a good sized piece of muscle and fat, which he delicately consumed. Yamano’s eyes bulged in terror and agony, catching Iruka’s attention as he licked his lips clean.

“Oh, why didn’t I just fuck my way full? Well, when Sandaime-sama and I did our little search we found some information in my mom’s journals. She was like me; of course at least one of my parents had to be. We knew that. See, I knew her mother wasn’t from Leaf, nor Fire Country but I didn’t know where. Seems my grandmother was from a small clan somewhere in the mountains, past Wind Country, where their village sacrificed prisoners and bad people to her family. You can imagine how things might be bad but her records say things were actually really nice. The family stayed small and only ate about two or three people every quarter. But, you see, when we reach a majority, a certain age, like all animals, we need a mate. Well, my grandmother was nineteen and visiting Wind when she met my grandfather. She imprinted on him and decided to follow him back to Konoha with the family’s permission.

“Grandfather knew, of course, but they kept things quiet and mom was raised the same. My parents died before they could tell me but it hasn’t been so bad, at least, not until _him_. I’ve imprinted and therein lies my problem. Once we’ve imprinted we can’t go back. Naturally, we look for someone strong and powerful, like my grandfather and father who were powerful Jounin. Me? I’m not so lucky. So, of course, I land up imprinting on another man, a bloody crazy perverted Jounin, would you believe it?” Iruka sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, before continuing in that conversational tone even as he cut away flesh to nibble on. “And it doesn’t end there, oh no. Nature seems to want my ‘people’ to continue on no matter our personal preferences. A male monster like me with a male mate is still expected to have children! Crazy, isn’t it? Not that I mind kids, I love them actually. Not in the eating way, but I would like to have some of my own, eventually.

“I didn’t even realise I’d imprinted! But when you start having some very interesting dreams about someone and find yourself hot and bothered whenever they’re near, you soon realise what’s going on. Apparently it’s like a switch, once we’ve imprinted we go into a sort of heat. Terrible term really but it applies. I don’t know how it works for women who imprint on other women, but in cases where a man imprints on another man, the body starts doing some things which are altogether rather confusing and uncomfortable. Something about vestigial sacs and foramens. As if learning I’m a flesh-eating monster isn’t enough, turns out having sex could get me pregnant if I’m not careful!”

Iruka drew back for moment and smiled at Yamano, the expression a little embarrassed. “Troublesome, as a student of mine is fond of saying. I’m a teacher by the way. A Chuunin of the Hidden Leaf!” And like that the embarrassment was gone and Iruka returned to his chatting and cutting.

“So there goes my other outlet. Now you see why I’m so hungry. I imprinted on an extremely powerful, ass-hat Jounin who has broadcast his preference for tits to the whole village and now need to feed. It gets easier, apparently, once you’re mated. Regular sex offsets the need to feed so often, except during pregnancy but that would be expected. Don’t you think? If I was to get pregnant, maybe Ibiki-san would let me have the leftovers. Or I could help out now and then since I can keep someone alive a long time if I want to. You’d be amazed at how much flesh you can lose before you die.”

He smiled down at the other man, whose eyes had long since glazed over in agony and horror. “Well, not that you really had a choice but I feel that it’s better to die with some answers, right? And, yeah, I think I needed to vent to someone.” Iruka chuckled to himself, patting at the nin's bloody shoulder in an oddly conciliatory way.

“Now, as for why you, well, like I said: I really love children. And you are a very bad person when it comes to children. I’ve been tracking the rumours for three months now and when Tsunade-sama didn’t call, well, I took it on myself to take a little ‘mission’ in this direction. Nothing special, just a delivery. And don’t worry, nobody will know and you’ll just, well, disappear!”

Grinning excitedly, Iruka dropped the kunai and pushed back his sleeves.

“Well, now that introductions are over, let’s get started! I’m really so very hungry....”

 

*****

 

Kakashi returned to Konoha in a daze. He’d stayed just long enough to realise exactly what Iruka meant when he said he was ‘hungry’ and it had been more than a little unsettling. It couldn’t be the same man, could it?

Yes, he was the proud instructor of looking underneath the underneath but this wasn’t ever what he’d imagined.

He was mildly surprised to find Rhaidou manning the mission desk even as Genma leant against his chair, reading through some papers. Kakashi greeted the two men with a salute of, “Yo.”

“Welcome back, Kakashi-san.” Rhaidou greeted, taking the offered report. “Thank you for your hard work.”

Pretending to look around curiously, he asked, “Where’s Iruka-sensei? Shouldn’t he be around by now?” He had to be wrong.

Stamping his report, the scarred Jounin shrugged. “Think he’s on mission, right Genma?”

“Hm, yeah. A delivery. He should be back in another day or two.”

“Mah, does he often take delivery missions? I thought he was a trap specialist?” Kakashi leant against the desk and tried to exude mild curiosity and a need for some light post-mission socialising.

“Schools out for a week and I know he likes to get out of the village every now and then.”

“Away from the little demons you mean.” Rhaidou snorted, earning a grin from his partner who continued the line of thought. “The man’s a saint! How he doesn’t snap dealing with the rugrats and their parents every day, I don’t know.”

“Please,” The other man rolled his eyes, “he just takes the stress out on us Jounin. Man’s scary as fuck when he’s really pissed. Remember Kano-san? I swear I never want Iruka-sensei’s focus on me when he’s like that!”

“Oh, yeah.” Genma’s expressions said he was stuck between amusement and fear. “I knew there was a reason he got on so well with Ibiki-san.”

“Oh?” Kakashi coached. That was news.

“Remember Kano-san? Jounin with a thing for mud-jutsu and sakura tattoos? Got himself gutted about two years ago? He really managed to piss Iruka-sensei off and not in the annoyed and puffed up way you always manage. Iruka-sensei was as angry as I’ve ever seen the guy. Well, anyhow, a few days later the guy comes in to drop off a report and it was like a total one-eighty!”

Rhaidou nodded fervently. “Yeah, the guy all but wet himself when Iruka greeted him, started stuttering and rushed out of here like a cat on fire! I don’t know what happened but afterwards Ibiki strolled in and congratulated Iruka on “another one”. And he was smiling! Creepiest shit ever.”

Kakashi frowned, vaguely recalling something about a Jounin freaking out around a Chuunin a few years back. Had Iruka done something to the man? After what he’d seen he wasn’t so quick to dismiss the idea. “Right. See you two around.”

He needed to think. On one hand he was an elite Jounin of the Hidden Leaf Village, sworn to protect and serve the village at all costs. On the other, Iruka was a popular teacher and his friend, who he may just have fallen for. And in the middle was the revelation that that same man was a monster, a monster who ate people. Literally.

Yet, hadn't Iruka said that he purposefully held back, only seeking out enemies of Konoha as food? He held back, waiting for orders when he could very likely have taken them all on. He served the village in secret, destroying her enemies and protecting her children. And, unlike ANBU, there would never even be a vague recognition for his efforts.

Could Kakashi say he was any different? Since he was a child he’d killed, become a weapon of Konoha and nightmare to her foes. And unlike Iruka his monster was something he chose to become. He may not consume his kills, but was leaving them to rot any different? Any better?

There’d never been any rumours about monsters and such, especially connected with Iruka. The man was considered one of the most stable shinobi in the village- despite a few temper issues. Was that part of it? But even in his anger Iruka never struck out in violence, at least not without reason. He knew of only a few occasions where the man had become violent but nothing like himself or any of the other shinobi, and never as viciously as he now new the man was capable of.

He knew Iruka cared, _knew_ he didn't want to kill. Iruka was a killer. You just could not live as a shinobi without any blood on your hands. And while Kakashi would have denied the man a killer instinct, before, he also knew it had to exist for him to have lived this long in their profession. Thinking about it he realised that the only real account he had of the Chuunin’s abilities in combat was from Naruto - he needed to see those records.

 

*****

 

“It doesn’t match up.” Kakashi frowned, scanning the reports about Iruka and Naruto’s encounter with Mizuki. Naruto may like to embellish his tales, but you learned to pull out the truth after a while. According to the boy, Iruka had been hit in the centre of his back, the blade striking deep enough that Iruka had had to physically pull it out. Naruto had even described the sound of flesh and bone releasing metal with an accuracy that had caused his ANBU interviewer to flinch, if the slight change in pen pressure was anything to go by. Any shinobi could tell you that a blow like that was deadly, at best. At worst you would be crippled.

The attached hospital records only showed a glancing blow to the back, with localised loss of sensation which may heal over time. Nothing as severe as Naruto had described. Nor as severe as he knew Mizuki was capable of. The attached photographs only showed minimal bruising, even the cuts were minor and Iruka looked more like he’d had a tough training session, not a fight for his and his student’s lives.

The man himself had described the blow as simply looking worse than it really was, explaining away Naruto's account as a field- inexperienced child's imagination.

Despite the logic of the explanation it made him wonder who the fuck had been running the investigation? There were too many inconsistencies, too many things that did not add up- even if you ignored Naruto's account. Had the Third interfered? It was the only thing Kakashi could think of to explain why none of the ANBU had even made note of the incident.

Kakashi sighed, leaning back against the wall. If Iruka was truly as fast and strong as he’d witnessed, then why had he even taken those blows? Yet alone the shuriken? Why had no one noticed the disparity in the reports? Had it actually been missed or was it really covered up? There were just too many questions.

And there was really only one person who could answer them.

 

*****

 

It took another two days for Iruka to get back to the village and another three for Kakashi to work himself up enough to seek the man out. He knew he’d hesitated and put it off too long. The moment he’d returned from his mission he should have gone to the hokage, told Tsunade everything he’d seen; the trap of a fight, the disturbing revelation, the bloodied feast. The idea hadn’t even crossed his mind and that more than anything told him that he had always intended to stand by Iruka.

It was just hard. Now… now there was more than rejection to face.

And yet somehow he knew that rejection was still what scared him more than facing a monster. That was the point, wasn't it? Despite what he'd come to know, he could never look at Iruka and see a monster, see anything but the man he'd fallen in love with.

So, here he was outside Iruka's apartment, alcohol in hand and emotions churning in his heart.

Iruka just greeted him with a smile and waved him inside. He let the younger man take the bottle from him as they commented on some village gossip and Iruka brought out some simple snacks and glasses for the booze. They chatted like normal, ate like normal, drank like normal, cleaned up like normal. It was all so normal, everything Kakashi looked forward to after a mission. It was too much.

“I saw you.” His heart clenched. It was nothing, could have been anything. Anyone else would have missed it but Kakashi had been looking for it: that moment of pause. That moment where Iruka remembered something he didn't want him to know about. And like that it was all real, all true, and Iruka was a monster.

“Hmm, what?”

“In the forest, I was on my way back from my mission,” Iruka stood frozen. “I saw you with Kaze. He chased after you but it was all a tr-”

“Stop!” The other man whispered and Kakashi could hear the fear in his voice, see how he was shaking.

He could leave, just turn around and go. They may even be able to eventually find something of their friendship again, but.... God damnit! Kakashi was a bloody shinobi! He was the damned Copy Nin for heaven's sake! He needed to know.

“What are you?

“If you saw me, saw him then you overheard me, didn't you?” Iruka turned to face him then and looked him in the eye. “I’m a monster.”

“No.”

“Yes. You wouldn’t be here, be so afraid if you hadn’t seen. When did it click? When I crunched down on his fingers, my teeth crushing his bones? When I ripped his flesh from from the bone? Or when I opened a wrist and let his heart pump pulses of blood into my mouth? When I _ate_ him?”

Kakashi eyed the other man, hands clenched tightly. Iruka’s desperation, his self-disgust was clear. “Why?”

“Because I was hungry. Six months without feeding, four without even sex. I was starved! I waited for Tsunade-sama to call for me but the summons never came. I suspect Sandaime-sama never thought this far ahead, never put down on paper the instructions for the care and feeding of monsters.” Iruka growled out sarcastically.

“You’re not a monster.”

“Yes, I am. I eat _people_ , Kakashi. I like eating people. Their rich, warm blood. The feel of bone giving between my jaws and the tearing of flesh in my hands. It’s part of why I’m such a good teacher. I know the best places to strike to kill, to maim, to hobble, to eviscerate. I may appear human to your eyes but when I want to I can be much more. Naruto told you what happened with Mizuki, right? I hadn’t fed in months before that incident, I was weak. Didn’t you find it odd that I took a huge shuriken to the spine and lived? Yet alone was up and walking a day later? I wanted so much to eat him right then but I refused to show Naruto my monster.”

“...he’d understand.”

“No, he wouldn’t. Not this time. A demon of nature, in command of forces beyond its control? Yes, that he could understand, forgive even. But I am in control. I know exactly what I’m doing every time. I don’t blackout or get overwhelmed. My monster isn’t another being inside of me, it is me. All these impulses are natural to me, as natural as breathing is to you or swimming is to a fish, flying to a bird. I need to feed, to feel release, to mate.”

“Humans are the same.”

“Yes, but you very rarely take the consumption of your own well.”

He had no reply to that.

With a sigh, all the tension and anger fell away from the younger man. He looked sad to Kakashi, as if he’d just given up.

“What are you going to do, then? I’m not sure if I can let you kill me but you can try. Or will you hand me over to Ibiki-san? Tell Tsunade-sama?”

“No.”

That surprised him, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “What?”

“No.”

“You know what I am, what I’m capable of and you’re just going to ignore it?” It almost made Kakashi laugh. Iruka sounded so desperate, like he wanted Kakashi to condemn him. Instead, all he wanted to do was convince Iruka that it was okay, that he was safe. With him.

“Sandaime-sama knew and he trusted you. He trusted you enough to place Konoha’s children, our future, in your care. Iruka, I’ve seen and done things, terrible things, in the name of Konoha that I am not proud of. What you can do, what I saw you do, is terrifying but I am not afraid of you.”

“You should be.”

“I know. I know but I’m just not. I saw how fast, how strong you can be but I also heard how you are a monster _for_ Konoha. Iruka, can you tell me that we’re not the same? How are you so different from me? I’ve decimated villages, killed children and destroyed the hopes of generations. If I condemn you, where does that leave me? Yes, you ‘feed’ on humans but so do I, just not so literally.”

Iruka sighed, giving him a strange, soft look. “I wish others could be like you, Kakashi. I don’t think even Sandaime-sama could accept it, he always spoke like ‘monster’ was another person, like it was just another ANBU designation.”

Both men were silent, lost in their thoughts.

“Who is he?” Kakashi had to know, even if it hurt. Maybe he could…. “The... Jounin you ‘imprinted’ on? You said he was why you were so hungry.”

Iruka flushed and it was so familiar, so sweet and warm, that Kakashi could almost forget what they were really talking about. Was this the true face of a monster?

“Ah. It’s just....”

“I heard. All of it. If you used sex as a substitute for feeding, like you used to, you could ...” Despite all his thinking, his wanting, even Kakashi stumbled over the next words, attempting diplomacy, “have a child.”

“Yes.” The other shinobi suddenly looked tired, his voice quiet and low. “I didn’t plan it, which sounds ridiculous, I know. We’ve known each other for a while now and I’ve always known he was strong. I’m not sure what triggered it.”

“And you, how do you feel about h-this?”

“I don’t really have a choice.”

“But, what if you found someone else? It doesn’t have to be him, right? You’d be able to, to find a substitute otherwise.”

“Look,” Iruka's face was red as he forced himself not to shout. “I don’t know much about this at all. No one has even heard of my grandmother’s village, yet alone of monsters like me! As far as my records go I just heal well, have ANBU level reflexes and strength but lack the chakra or desire to reach Jounin. I only know about the imprinting and breeding from piecing together my mother and grandmother’s journals and some tests I did. My mom barely managed a few notes before she died and even then she makes few mentions of this. “

“What did she say?”

“Not much. She wrote about grandmother and her village and the family a little. No confirmed names or locations. At one point she speaks of my grandmothers’ grandfathers having wed on conceiving her father. Apparently, even monsters are given to drunken revelry and stupidity. She briefly explained imprinting on my father and its effects on her. She’d just started on her thoughts about my development when she died. She described how she expected me to find a male mate due to my lower chakra levels and even outlined who in the more powerful Konoha families might be appropriate candidates.”

“How do you know you can bear a child, then?”

“Little things which just added up. Mother wrote about how in the initial imprinting a monster is aroused and attentive to their intended, but they are only, ah, fertile when their dreams include offspring and carrying them. I know I imprinted some months ago but I only started dreaming of children with him just over 4 months ago. I also started getting weird stomach cramps, discomfort and feeling a little tired just before that.”

“And?”

Iruka fidgeted with mild embarrassment, his signature blush warming his face. “I may have snuck into the hospital and scanned myself.”

Kakashi just looked at him, not able to hide everything he felt. The set of his shoulders held a tinge of desperation, he knew, though Iruka couldn't know why. He could see that it hurt Iruka to even look at him.

“But, you can take on someone else, right? If... you deserve someone who at least cares for you, Iruka.”

"Don’t you think that’s what I want? I never wanted this. But you know what I am now, how do you think other people would react? I’m a monster that feeds on flesh and sex.” The anger was back again, the self-derision and desperate fear. Iruka was becoming more like a cornered animal than the man Kakashi knew him to be. “I’m a male that can get pregnant, spawning more monsters to feed! Could you accept me, like this? Even more so knowing that a monster could have your child? A child that won’t just be a shinobi taking missions one day, but an abomination, killing to waste a hunger you can never understand?”

“Yes.”

That stopped Iruka cold but Kakashi wasn't finished.

“Yes, I can accept that, accept you. You are still Umino Iruka. I can’t believe that the monster is all there is to you. Yes, you are a ... a being that eats humans, but so are many other animals. A human is just as much food to tigers and sharks as they are to you. But you are also a kind man, a loving and amazing teacher whose students adore him. You are the older brother of Naruto, the friend and companion of many shinobi.”

“I’m not a case of underneath the underneath, Kakashi.”

Iruka’s words were bitter even as Kakashi tried to get the other to see himself as he saw him. The simple fact was, that to him, Iruka was it.

“No, but there is more to you than what you want to convince me there is. Whoever it is that that part of you has chosen is a fool. You asked if anyone could accept you. If they could accept what you are, what you are capable of, what being with you might mean? If I could? The answer is yes; yes I could and can accept it.”

“You don’t-”

“Yes, I do! I want you, Iruka. Even the monster in you. I would be honoured to have a child with you.” Kakashi was shouting now, feeling the unshed tears gathering in his eyes.

“But, they’d also be monst-“

“So? Aren’t you a monster too? Wasn’t your mother and grandmother? You lost your parents before you even knew the truth but you are still this amazing person. How could a child of yours be anything but?”

“Kakashi....”

The older man felt his shoulders slump, feeling suddenly drained. He couldn’t meet Iruka’s gaze. He sighed.

“I’ve liked you for a long time now, months. At first you were just a good friend, someone I could just be comfortable with and relax around. There’s so much about you that I always liked, even loved. And then you became more.

“You are the reason I return when my missions make me more of a monster than you think you are. Even if it’s just ramen with Naruto, it’s the best night of my life until the next time.”

Kakashi squared his shoulders and met Iruka’s gaze again, knowing the other man could see the pain in his own, hear it in his cracking voice.

“I hate him, whoever you’ve imprinted on. I hate that he has you without even trying and I hate him for hurting you. Even now I still love you, maybe even more so because you are so strong and even more wonderful _because_ of what you are. You could be a shinobi the likes of which even ANBU fear but, instead, you use your abilities to train and protect our future. You are strong, Iruka. You don’t let the monster in you rule you and I wish I was that strong. There’s a monster in me too, one that kills for no reason but orders yet unlike you I can’t accept it. That part of me, the Hound, is something I both despise and need. I wish I was as strong as you to accept it. Maybe if I was then I would have been strong enough to have you.”

He trails off, letting loose with a shuddering sigh. Through it all his hands had been held clenched at his sides and now they were shaking. For a moment the two men stood within arms reach of each other, barely breathing, just taking it all in.

 

*****

 

Iruka, who’d for so long denied himself any hope, found his mind running in circles. _-you became more- the reason I return- hate him- I still love you- more wonderful because- protect our future- I wish- still love you- part of me- strong enough- love you-_

“I’m sorry.” Kakashi whispered, turning and walking, running, away. The sudden movement was all Iruka needed to pull his thoughts away from their roundabout. Tapping into his other he was at the Jounin's side in a breath, grasping for his hand.

“Kakashi, stop, please.” He didn’t shout, didn’t need to as the other man was too emotionally drained to do more than pull ineffectively at his grasp. “Maybe she was right, after all.”

The quiet hope in his voice must have caught Kakashi’s attention as the man’s head shot up. “Who?”

“My mother.” The younger shinobi smiled gently in remembrance. “She wrote in her journal that she often wondered about the imprinting. My father told her once that he’d fallen in love with her some time before her with him.” He met Kakashi’s warily hopeful gaze, stepping forward and bringing the others hand up to his mouth, he placed a soft kiss on the knuckles. “She wrote that maybe we only imprint on the one who will love us back.”

“It was you, Kakashi. Don’t ever hate yourself. Don’t ever call yourself a monster. Please.”

Iruka would never have believed he could make Kakashi’s breath falter as the older man pulled him into a strong embrace. He wasn't sure which of them was shaking, wasn't sure it mattered And for a long moment they held onto each other, just feeling. After everything, was this al it came down to? Could he dare to hope they could be like this?

“Who knew eavesdropping would get me everything I could want?” The Jounin's quiet words broke the tension and suddenly they were giggling, letting out the hysteria and desperation of the earlier argument.

“I think it only works for very special cases.” Iruka smiled in gentle amusement and then wonder as Kakashi reached up and pulled down his mask. He was still smiling when they pulled back from the kiss and Kakashi was smiling back.

“So, what now?” The Jounin leaned forward, resting his forehead against Iruka's.

“I’m not really sure.”

“I think we should tell Tsunade-sama.”

“But you said-“

“Iruka, now that I have you I am never letting go, but I also don’t intend on starving you.” Kakashi's grin was filthy and Iruka knew he was blushing red. “I won’t hold back, not again, and I think we’ll need all the help we can get to make sure you and our children are safe. Besides, I think it’ll be pretty obvious something’s up when you start showing.”

“And if she doesn’t care?”

“The Godaime trusted Sandaime-sama. It’ll be okay.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Iruka warned as the other man's hands drifted lower.

Kakashi just smirked, “Now, how do you feel about large families?”

 

The End

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from Naruto. I do not claim any ownership of the characters or world, I am just borrowing them and this story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line.


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